It was lovely to have snow on my birthday, really it was. I had a lovely day and felt really special. I’ve had gifts that showed me that the giver had thought of what I’d like and shopped accordingly.
I even got a couple of texts from two people who know reminding me that it was snowing on the day I was born!
We had bucks fizz followed by a full English breakfast, and after a quiet but enjoyable day we went out and had a meal at an Italian restaurant, which was really nice.
The journey home was a bit of a nightmare, my train broke down, so I had to wait over an hour for the next and missed my connection, and only caught the next train to my destination by virtue of the fact that it had been delayed by 5 minutes.
I walked to work 3 days last week, and my hips and knees protested for the next 4 days, I really could do without any more snow now til spring, but no, there’s more falling as I type. Wonderful. Hopefully this batch will only be a thin layer and will melt away soon and leave is with the crocuses and snowdrops we like to see!
Now, right this minute, I’m going to collect a cup of coffee and hang up some clean washing, probably in the reverse order, but that’s next!
Take care and stay safe.
Or rather, the post-Christmas muffin-top you get when you try and put on your work jeans that fitted fine three weeks ago only to find you have to lie on the bed to fasten them!
I wasn’t best pleased at that, they’ve been cutting into me something awful today; partly because I’ve gained weight after all the feasting we did over Christmas and partly because it’s so cold I’m wearing long leggings under my jeans at all times!
As I said just before New Year, one of my promises is to regain control over my eating habits and eat correctly 90% of the time so that I stand a better chance of reaching a healthy weight.
Change of subject now, I have rediscovered a delight of cold weather. Walking home after work through falling snow. It was absolutely beautiful. I did have to walk; the bike put up it’s usual protest about the weather and wouldn’t co-operate with me, but it didn’t really matter because I was looking at the falling snow and the light patterns and listening to the stillness.
Happy winter, and stay safe, wherever you are for the next 24 hours.
It’s a bit hard to think about it now, but I’m leaving the Lincolnshire quiet behind tomorrow and going back to the wilds of Bedfordshire with my cats.
I have to because work starts again on Monday and while I could leave it til monday morning to return, that cats will be very unsettled and I want to be there to make sure they are ok. Still, it’s not nice having been in small village that feels like home the second I set foot in it to have to return to somewhere that has always felt a bit temporary if I’m honest.
Oliver has made the lounge windowsill his home here and he’s going to miss the chance to sit and watch the world go by with only glass in front of him and a hot radiator close by. Jewel is finally (after 10 days) leaving the bedroom under her own steam but is still very unsure of being in a room with 3 or more people in it. Poor girl, I’m guessing she’ll relax a bit, but will definitely have to get used to it when we move permanently in April.
I say gentle day because it’s been productive. The cats gave us a quiet night and so bolstered by more sleep than usual we’ve got a lot done on some work that Dan’s been trying to clear out, as well as work out things like where all my stuff’s going to go when I finally arrive, literally bag and baggage! It’s not been hard, some might call it a drifty day. Not getting lots done, but then not doing nothing at all.
Never mind, there’s a three course roast beef dinner tonight!
It’s New Years Eve and I suppose that means it’s time to have a bit of a summing up of the year before the new year arrives and we all look ahead to what’s coming next.
First and foremost, although I haven’t said much about it, the year was very much overhung by the impending site closure at work; no matter how much we at work all tried to lift ourselves out of it, the stress and the depression have taken their toll and people have been ill and we’ve had to really be there for each other. Just before Christmas my department was notified that basically almost all of us had been selected for redundancy. The relief at knowing that the end was coming after almost two years was incredible.
The other big thing that happened, which was as big as dealing with looming redundancy, was meeting Dan. After living alone for 4 years, focussing on being happy as I was and not doing very well at it, a gentle man came along. He turned on a lamp in a lfe that felt like dusk, and helped me learn how to live and love and be happy with me again. Just to be clear, if you’re my personal friend and are reading this and thinking “huh! What about me?” Don’t worry. I love all my friends dearly but Dan has brought a dimension to my life that was absent and I hadn’t realised. The best analogy is the mobile phone one. You never had one before and a few weeks after getting one you have to ask yourself “how did I survive before this?” [More]
Christmas morning was everything I’ve ever wanted a Christmas morning to be.
We had Buck’s Fizz (actually I did – everyone else had straight champagne!) while Dan sat by the tree passing around gifts to people. There were some amazing things and also some “it’s Christmas, that means it’s traditional to recieve socks!”
We had breakfast after gifts and then began the task of getting the turkey ready for the oven and the beers in the fridge.
Paul and Pauline arrived around midday while the turkey was cooking and we had a few more gifts and some more drinks.
Dinner was ready earlier than expected and we set ourselves around the table and feasted until we could hold no more – lobster bisque a la Ted, turkey with homemade stuffing, pigs in blankets, dishes and dishes of vegetables, roasted potatoes, boiled potatoes, gravy, to say nothing of the home made Christmas pudding with homemade brandy sauce!
When we finally finished eating, we moved over to the sitting room and played Trivial pursuit, which was fine until I lost by a country mile, at which point the alcohol kicked in and I cried my little heart out!
As expected, while it ws really cold, there wasn’t a white Christmas here for all that there was snow on the ground.
The cats did hide away all day as I’d expected, but Oliver did show his face later in the evening to say hello to his public!
I needed to go shopping today. I actually prefer shopping on a weekday, either fairly early or after work, when most sane people are in bed. Today I was reminded of why.
To put is simply, Tesco was heaving with people. Now you might say that how a supermarket should be, but I don’t deal hugely well with crowds. I like people, sure, but hundreds of them milling in all directions and coming at me no matter which way I tried to point my trolley? No thanks, I’ll stick to shopping after 10pm and risk the self-serve checkouts thanks!
I’m not sure if it’s the low mood/mild depression, but I felt almost claustrophobic in there, my spatial awareness is pretty strong anyway, and when I’m unwell in any way, shape or form it gets even stronger. I couldn’t help but think that I would actually pay not to work there on a Saturday if I was employed by them. I couldn’t help wondering if it would have been wiser to order online and pay the delivery charge for not that much food. [More]
It’s been an odd sort of a week. I sobbed my little heart out sending Dan home after a happy weekend together, and it did get hard to do things like actually cooking meals of nutritional value, but then Beckie took me in hand and it seems to be improving inside my head now.
I had an awful moment in the early hours of Monday morning, Dan woke me asking what this noise was, and on investigation, it turned out to be a live fully grown frog. I mean, Lord defend me, I like ‘em in the wild, but my front room is the Wrong Place for a frog to be! I nearly threw up trying to get the poor creature out, I really do baulk at touching them, and I may never wear that boot it hopped into again, but it did eventually go out unharmed.
Incidentally, there is a new house rule, Cat supper time is Cats Locked In time. I am NOT having that again, ever! [More]
Bedford’s Mayor, Frank Branston, died recently. This sparked the need for an election to find a new mayor.
My question, maybe more of an issue, is this: how can I be sure that the person I just went out and voted for is actually going to deliver on what they’ve said will be their priorty? I can’t stand over them and crack a whip – no one would pay me to and I can’t do it for free.
Maybe it’s just that I’ve got a heightened sense of what I see as wrong or unfair at the moment. I’m not really sure to be honest, but my faith in politics is really being shaken and my general faith in human nature has taken a huge slap lately.
On the bright side, I got some grocery shopping done yesterday and this morning I’ve got some laundry out of the way. This is a pretty good sign, because if I can’t buy food and do laundry it’s next stop – anti depressants. Maybe the fact that the weather is stable is helping, I’m not totally sure.
I do have something proper to look forward to, Dan is coming for a long weekend. My house will get clean and tidy (always does when I’m expecting visitors I care about!) and I’ll actually find the energy to cook proper food again. Anyone else fancy dropping by? You might get met at the door with a duster and a cup of tea though!
There’s a song I used to sing at primary school that had that line in it. For the life of me I can’t remember any more of it than that right now but I think it fits how I feel right now.
I expect you’re probably aware that I had a crisis yesterday. I was up from 5am to catch the train to see Dan and the night before that I’d cycled miles to pick up my train tickets through the rain in the dark and the rush hour and dealt with beggars who approach people (note to potential beggars – don’t bother, I’ll yell at you or call the police) and ticket machines that didn’t want to work when the rest of the world (and me) are all in a hurry to be somewhere else because it’s friday night. Then I had a monster of a curry before packing my case and getting to bed just before midnight. [More]
It’s been an odd week. I’ve been up and down so many times, not sleeping properly, almost depressed at times. It’s largely to do with having to face the reality of the fact that my job is actually going, and I have to get out there and find a new one. The knowledge is so hard to live with; sometimes it feels like physical pain. I often want to cry, and at the same time I feel that I can’t, that I have no right to.
Yesterday I got very low indeed, right down to tears; and then that Lily Allen song “it’s not fair” came on. For the first time I had to conclude that I agreed with Lily. It does feel unfair that so many of us have to lose our jobs because of someone else’s management choices and decisions, that so many of us struggle day to day now.
For those who have never been made redundant, it feels like a bereavement. I’ve had this job for eight years now and I’ve enjoyed doing it. I’ve worked with a huge variety of people and done wide variety of tasks within it. The day I heard the announcement I felt as though I’d been kicked in the stomach. Some of the people around me had to walk around the carpark to calm down after hearing the news, there was a fair bit of anger and disbelief, and a general feeling of betrayal all round.
I’ll get through this, I have to. After every funeral life continues and it will for me, but right now it is a bit hard to comprehend. I do have a loving and supportive family and a large and helpful circle of friends. I’ll find a new job and get a new set of colleagues and make more friends.